Discovering the Goodness of God

I love to know and learn things. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always loved being “in the know”. I used to love being one of the first to know things so that I could be the first to tell things. In fact, my nickname growing up was “the informer”. I’m still that way in many ways. I would pick a documentary or docuseries over just about any other genre any day- anything from BBC Planet Earth to a dark true crime series. I literally love watching the morning news, reading my daily Wikipedia article, getting my dictionary word of the day, and even my daily Bible verse. I listen to educational podcasts for fun, and I’m in a million and one Facebook groups to discuss various topics. I love it all because I love learning and knowing. I guess that makes me a bit of a know at all lol.

The issue I have is that this crosses over into every area of my life, including my faith. I’ve recently been struggling in this area because there are so many things that I don’t understand when it comes to how God operates. In the last few months, I’ve found myself questioning God a lot. Not His existence or his sovereignty, but his reasoning. Becoming a mom has softened my heart to so many issues in this world that I then take to God and ask why they are happening. It’s left me with many sleepless nights and rant sessions with God. And if I’m being quite honest, there have been a few times I’ve been downright angry with Him. Why do some prayers get answered and some don’t. Why do some people seem to ALWAYS get blessed while others are left in what seems to be a perpetual struggle. Why do some people receive their healing here on earth, while others receive it in heaven, leaving their family, friends, and community devastated? I could go on and on with questions. I was to the point that the generic “we live in a fallen world that’s imperfect” answer wasn’t cutting it. That seemed like a cop-out that people used because they didn’t have the answers either.

It was so dang frustrating because I know the goodness of God. I’ve seen it in my life time and time again, but nevertheless, I was left extremely frustrated, having gone through some really tough things too, as well as having seen my loved ones and even those I’ve never met go through so much pain and struggle.

Then, then other day I saw a post that humbled me pretty quickly. It was a post that Brian Johnson shares of a quote from his dad, Bill Johnson. It was so simple, yet so profound. “We need mystery as much as we need revelation.” At first I read it and scrolled right on by, but something told me to go back and read it again. After reading it a few more times, I was so wrecked, so humbled, and so convicted all at the same time. I’ve spent the better part of the last year genuinely angry with God because I didn’t understand a lot of what was happening around me, but in that moment I knew that I was never meant to understand most of it. That was a hard pill for me to swallow given my personality, but as I’ve mulled over it the last few days, the more I’ve begun to understand that I don’t need to know everything.

If we as humans knew all of Gods reasoning and all of his plans, there would be no need for a God at all. And how very self righteous of me to assume that I should know everything he does?! See, while we should strive to gain revelation and understanding of who God is and what His heart is towards us, we also need to acknowledge his sovereignty and majesty, which is far beyond our understanding. Ultimately, we need to be more concerned with acquainting ourselves with Gods character rather than His reasoning, because when we know who He is and understand His heart, we understand that no matter the circumstances, he is always working things for our good!

Obviously, this wasn’t a fix-all. My questions didn’t just magically melt away because of this post/revelation, but it gave me a new way to combat my emotional responses towards God. I know my curiosity isn’t a bad thing- it’s how God created me to to be! And through my curiosity, I’m able to gain so much fresh revelation about Him, but I have to also be conscious of my mind and not allow it to wander. The Bible tells us in Romans 12:2 “Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.” This is in the Passion Translation, and I absolutely love the way it reads. We have control over where we allow our minds to go! And when we partner with the Holy Spirit, it results in a total reformation of how we think. Not only will it result in a reformation of how we think, but it will allow us to discern and understand God’s will for our lives. Wow- that’s so dang powerful!

It’s amazing how much one little quote can change the way you approach so much. It was so timely and so needed. And it served as a reminder that I truly need God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit- everyday, in everything I do, think, and say. We all do! We all go through some really tough stuff throughout the course of our lives, and i think because of that, we can all be left questioning or doubting the goodness of God. I personally believe that, if we allow them to, these are often times the moments that result in us growing closer to God than ever before. The key is to press in, be curious, and learn more about God, who he is, and what his promises are for our lives! That being said, I want to leave you with some scriptures to help guide you through those tough times.

Psalm 23 (TPT)
“So why would I fear the future? For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life…”

1 John 1:5 (TPT)
“This is the life-giving message we heard him share and it’s still ringing in our ears. We now repeat his words to you: God is pure light. You will never find even a trace of darkness in him.”
James 1:17 (TPT)
“Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect, streaming down from the Father of lights, who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow or darkness and is never subject to change.”
Matthew 6:25-34 (TPT)
“… Look at all the birds—do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they?”
Romans 8:28-39
“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. For he knew all about us before we were born and he destined us from the beginning to share the likeness of his Son. This means the Son is the oldest among a vast family of brothers and sisters who will become just like him. Having determined our destiny ahead of time, he called us to himself and transferred his perfect righteousness to everyone he called. And those who possess his perfect righteousness he co-glorified with his Son! So, what does all this mean? If God has determined to stand with us, tell me, who then could ever stand against us? For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his Son. And since God freely offered him up as the sacrifice for us all, he certainly won’t withhold from us anything else he has to give. Who then would dare to accuse those whom God has chosen in love to be his? God himself is the judge who has issued his final verdict over them—“Not guilty!” Who then is left to condemn us? Certainly not Jesus, the Anointed One! For he gave his life for us, and even more than that, he has conquered death and is now risen, exalted, and enthroned by God at his right hand. So how could he possibly condemn us since he is continually praying for our triumph? Who could ever separate us from the endless love of God’s Anointed One? Absolutely no one! For nothing in the universe has the power to diminish his love toward us. Troubles, pressures, and problems are unable to come between us and heaven’s love. What about persecutions, deprivations, dangers, and death threats? No, for they are all impotent to hinder omnipotent love, even though it is written: All day long we face death threats for your sake, God. We are considered to be nothing more than sheep to be slaughtered! Yet even in the midst of all these things, we triumph over them all, for God has made us to be more than conquerors, and his demonstrated love is our glorious victory over everything! So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!”
Why are some of your favorite scriptures of God’s goodness? I’d love to hear from you! Drop them in the comments below. Thanks so much for reading- I hope to see you next week


Motherhood: Overcoming Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

**TRIGGER WARNING** this post contains in depth discussion of postpartum anxiety and depression.

*** DISCLAIMER*** I am not a licensed healthcare professional. This post discusses my personal journey with postpartum depression and anxiety. If you are struggling with any form of mental health crisis, please seek help from a licensed medical professional

E10C49FC-15F6-4C1A-BA09-5D633D385E80I think the top two questions I have been asked since becoming a mom are 1) how did you know you were ready for kids, and 2) why is the biggest thing you’ve learned since having Evelyn. They can both be answered the same way: There is absolutely nothing that can prepare you for motherhood. You can save all the money, read all the books, go to all the classes and seek all the advice in the world, but you will never be prepared. Even once you have the baby, you are constantly learning. Every baby is different and there are so many nuances to their behaviors and preferences. Just when you think you’ve learned them, they change. And you change. It’s inevitable. In fact, that change usually happens almost instantaneously the moment the nurses plop that slimy, screaming, precious baby on your chest. You suddenly becoming the embodiment of “mama bear”. You are completely high off of adrenaline and oxytocin and a dozen other hormones that flood your body. You feel like you can take on the world and also take the best nap of your life all at once. You somehow feel incredibly strong and unbelievably broken at the same time. This is the first thing you aren’t prepared for- the ocean of emotions that you are battered with. In an instant, you feel more emotion than you ever thought possible.

Most people are aware of the phenomenon women experience after birth called “baby blues”. Your hormones have gone completely haywire and the result is a lack of control of your emotions. It’s totally normal to be pretty weepy the first couple of days- crying because you’re happy, or because you’re just so in love with your new baby, or something ridiculous like FINALLY getting to eat or get up and walk once that epidural wears off.

After Ev was born, I expected to be a bit emotional. My midwife had prepared me for it, and I was ready. I was also terrified of experiencing postpartum depression. It was something I talked with my midwife about because I had experienced pretty heavy depression before pregnancy, as well as during my pregnancy. On day two of my hospital stay, I filled out the generic postpartum depression questionnaire. In my opinion, this is the dumbest thing ever. You are running on zero sleep, and you’ve only had this child for all of 48 hours. The questions, like “have you thought about harming your baby”, or “have you had trouble sleeping” are ridiculous and make zero sense for that particular moment. Regardless, after answering the questions as honestly as I felt comfortable, I was given a moderate risk factor for developing ppd/a. We left the hospital the next day, and over the next week or so, things got progressively worse. I had absolutely no control over my emotions. I was crying all the time, so anxious, and having complete meltdowns over the most ridiculous things. I lost it over not being able to find my crock pot. Ridiculous, I know! All the while, my mom and husband kept asking if I was okay. I think they knew, but they wanted me to acknowledge that something wasn’t right. A week after having EV, my mom, dad, and husband sat me down and told me it was time to call my doctor. This was more than just baby blues, and deep down, I knew it. My mom in particular recognized it very quickly because of her own experience with it. I’m so grateful I have people in my life who were so willing to be honest with me.

After talking to my doctor, she diagnosed me with postpartum depression and anxiety and put me on Zoloft. The Zoloft took about 4 weeks to fully kick in, but once it did, I began to feel somewhat normal. After about three months of being on the medication, I began to notice that it wasn’t working as well, so my doctor upped my dosage. My emotions felt under control, but I definitely didn’t feel “normal”. Nevertheless, I knew that I needed to stay on it to be the best mom and wife possible. I really struggled with that idea because I didn’t want to have to rely on medication to function. It’s easy to make the comparison that “if you have allergies, you take Zyrtec and that’s no different”, a statement I’ve made to many before, but it’s a totally different thing to experience it for yourself. I felt weak and inadequate. I was angry with God for seemingly not helping me. I felt angry with myself and guilty a lot of the time for many reasons. One of the biggest being- how could I possibly be depressed when I have the biggest blessing in the world in my daughter?

My breaking point came back in September. I vividly remember sitting on the couch feeding Ev before putting her down for the night and just being bombarded with the worst feeling. I having it out with God for the umpteenth time and i said, “If this is the way I’m going to feel for the rest of my life, I don’t want it.” And for a split second I thought “there’s a whole bottle of Zoloft upstairs that could fix that”. And I broke. I called out for Jon-Paul to come get Ev and I sat on the couch and sobbed. I was terrified by that thought. I had no idea where it came from. It was something I would never in a million years consider doing and it made me scared to death that I was even capable of having such a thought.

After calming down and talking with Jon-Paul, we agreed I needed to get some counseling. I scheduled to talk with my counselor a couple days later. After speaking with her, I began to make some changes in my life. I started spending more time in the word, more time praying, and taking some time throughout the week to focus on myself. All of this really helped the depression aspect of what I was dealing with!

At the end of September, I decided to take a break from social media. While the depression was under control and basically non existent at this point, anxiety had ramped up significantly. In one week alone, I had seen 5 posts on social media about infant/toddler loss. I decided to take an indefinite break because I had enough anxious thoughts in my head without seeing that kind of stuff. It was truly the best thing I could have done and I HIGHLY encourage everyone to take a break from time to time.

So where am I now? My goal was to be off of the Zoloft by New Years. After a lot of work, prayer, and focus, I have been off of my meds for a month now. I feel truly amazing! I even went through all of the stress of the holiday season without the medication lol. It was definitely all about timing, as I had tried to wean off of them once before and quickly realized I was not ready. But this time around, I felt great. Of course I have my moments, but I finally feel back to normal- or my new normal I guess.

If you are experiencing ppd/a, my biggest piece of advice for you is to just hang in there. It gets better! Talk with your doctor, surround yourself with positive people, and communicate how you are feeling. Do not allow yourself to feel less than for having to take medication. Spend lots of time with God. Worship, prayer, just talking or having it out lol. Dig into the Word. Cover yourself in scripture daily. Be intentional about weekly “me” time- even if that means just a quick drive by yourself to the bank or to get gas- alone time is so important. Make yourself feel good and human- do your makeup and hair a few times a week, make your bed, get dressed in something other than spit up bathed bathrobe lol! Ultimately, make self care a priority.

I hope to dig into this topic more. I could seriously write volumes and volumes on my experience haha. Before I go, I want to leave you with some resources I found helpful. Below are some scriptures, songs, and people to check out!


Prayer. This is obvious and has to be done in your own way.  For me, there were lots of rant sessions to God lol.

The Word. Covering myself in scripture was so important. Here are some of my faves: Psalm 16:9, Psalm 25:20, Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 118:29, 2 Corinthians 12:9 &19,  Isaiah 46:6, Psalm 46:10, Proverbs 19:22, 2 Timothy 1:7, 2 Timothy 4:17, Proverbs 4:23, Isaiah 43:2

Faith-based Social Media Accounts: @my_darling_diary, @legitsadierob, @stylecusp, @bethel, @whoathatsgoodpodcast, @liveoriginal, @jenessawait

Family and Friends:

I’m not going to go into specifics here because I will undoubtedly forget someone, but surrounding yourself with a solid group of people is so vital. I have the most amazing and supportive family and friends and I’m so grateful for them.


Worship was such a big thing for me as well. Worshipping despite your circumstances produces something so beautiful and amazing in your life. Declaring God is good even when you don’t feel good yourself can be difficult, but it’s so necessary. Here are some of the songs that helped me.

Hillsong Worship: So Will I, Awake My Soul, I Will Praise You, Upper Room

Hillsong United: the People album, the Of Dirt and Grace album

Covenant Worship: Here Waiting

David and Nicole Binion: the Dwell album

Hillsong Y&F: PEACE, Days Gone By

HouseFires: Give Thanks To God, Build My Life, This Love

John and Joslyn Brockman: I’ll remain, You Are My Reward

Lauren Daigle: Rescue

Sean Feucht: There is a Name, Victorious One album

Brian and Jenn Johnson: After All These Years album

Bryan and Katie Torwalt: Praise Before My Breakthrough album

Bethel: Goodness is God, Stand in Your Love, Every Crown, Christ is Risen, Alabaster Heart

Amanda Lindsey Cook: Awakening

Leeland: Way Maker

If you’ve made it this far, I truly commend you. I know this was quite the post, but it was so important for me to be open about all of this. I know that so many women go through this and suffer in silence. My message to you is that you do not need to. Talk to someone. Get counseling. Open up to trusted loved ones. And lastly, give it to

God. He wants to take it from you, comfort you, and heal you.

See you next week!



It Is Well

It’s no secret that life can be hard. For some situations, that’s an extreme understatement. It can present situations that are cruel, painful, sorrowful, and seem insurmountable. It is an unchangeable and unfair guarantee that you will face difficulties in your time on this earth. So, how then, do we keep moving forward? Take a look at the lyrics below from the song, “It is Well with My Soul”:

  1.        When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.


It is well with my soul,

it is well, it is well with my soul.

  1. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

let this blest assurance control,

that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

and hath shed his own blood for my soul.


  1. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!


  1. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

even so, it is well with my soul.

(“It Is Well with My Soul”)

Some of you may be familiar with the story behind this song, but I’m going to go ahead and share it for those who are not. Horatio Spafford was a businessman residing in Chicago with his wife and 4 daughters in the late 19th century. He and his wife, Anna, knew all too well the cruelties of life, as the death of their son to pneumonia and the loss of their business in the Chicago fires happened in the same year. They managed to push forward, trust God, and rebuild a thriving business despite these great losses. Little did they know what lie ahead of them. In 1873, two years after the loss of their son and business, Anna and her 4 daughters boarded a transatlantic ship heading for Europe, leaving Horacio behind to manage the business in their absence. Four days into the trip, the ship carrying the five Spafford ladies collided with a much larger, iron hulled ship, resulting in the death of over 200 passengers- all four of the Spafford daughters included. Anna managed to survive and was taken to Europe. On his way to join her, Horatio Spafford was called up to the captain’s deck 4 days into his journey and told that they were passing over the final resting place of his four beloved daughters. According to Bertha Spafford Vester, a daughter born to Horatio and Anna in later years, her father left the captain’s deck and penned this very song.

After reading this story, I encourage you to re-read those lyrics. What does it mean for it to be will with your soul? How does a man who has lost everything write something so beautiful about the goodness of God? How do you attain a state of wellness of your soul? The answer to that question is a very simple one- you can’t! Not by yourself. No man is strong enough on his own to attain wellness of the soul. Try as you might, it is just not possible. But when you enter into a partnership with God, all it takes is a whisper and He is there to comfort and console you. He sends Holy Spirit to flood every fiber of your being, soul included, with His love, joy, comfort, and peace. There is often confusion during the storms of life that God has brought them about to teach someone a lesson or because He is angry, when, in fact, the storm was never God’s doing at all. The reason we experience hardships in life is not because we have an angry God, but because we live in a fallen world gripped by sin. The good news is, God may not have created the storm, but He can certainly take what the enemy meant to destroy you and make it a platform for you to stand upon, undefeated, to declare the His glory.

In order for it to be well with your soul, your soul must first be healthy. So how do we achieve that? I’m glad you asked! Accessing your direct line to the peace of God is vital to a healthy soul. The Bible speaks so many truths pertaining to the peace that accompanies God. Philippians 4:7 states, “And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, shall keep your hearts, your minds through Christ Jesus.” There is no natural way to keep your peace when all hell lets loose- but THANK GOD (literally) we may live in a natural world filled with a million anxiety triggers, but we have the ability to believe and function in the SUPERnatural. God knew exactly what we needed in this life, which is just one of many reasons He sent Jesus to the earth as a model for us. Jesus gave us multiple examples of what it looks like to have peace even in the chaos. He exemplified the attributes of having a soul that is well. He WAS peace. Because his soul was well, he changed the atmosphere just by walking into a room. He could walk into a chaotic situation, and suddenly it was still. Because His soul was well, his physical demeanor followed suit, and in turn, so did the atmosphere wherever He went.

Secondly, He allowed God to be God. If you can grasp the revelation that God is God, and you are not, you will be SO much better off. Who would want that responsibility anyway? You have to know that God is in control. He knows what He is doing. You have to come to the realization that it is not your responsibility to make it all happen- it is your responsibility to let God make it happen, and to open your ears and heart to what He would say to you and where He would lead you. Psalm 23:1 says “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.” The reason for you not wanting anything is because your Shepherd already knows everything that you could possibly need and He is ready and willing to give it to you! Part of having a soul that is well is letting go and letting God! Trust Him- He will never fail you.  

Communication with God is essential for maintaining the wellness of your soul. This is a two-part explanation. First- like my pastor always says- If you REVEAL it, God can HEAL it! God loves hearing from you. He loves listening to you. I am not a parent yet, but I am a child, and I know for a fact that I annoyed my parents more than once. But, our heavenly Father does not get annoyed with you talking to him- be it your needs and wants, or just conversation with Him. Too often we feel we are burdening God if we present our needs or talk to Him about our problems. Some of you were probably even told growing up that God is too busy with more important things to listen to you “complain”. Well, my friend, that couldn’t be further from the truth. His word would not tell us to cast our cares on Him (Ps. 55:22, I Peter 5:7) if He didn’t want to hear them and help you! God has also given people the gift of the ability to counsel those who are hurting. There is such a negative stigma towards counseling, and it is truly unfortunate. We are such a prideful people that we don’t feel we have license to not be okay. We have to be seen as “perfect” in the eyes of the world, and going to see a shrink must mean there is something wrong with us. But you are only as sick as your secret. I would love to take credit for that awesome revelation, but that belongs to Pastor Carl Lentz. Nevertheless, it’s a profound truth. If you continue to bury and make hidden every hurt, disappointment, frustration, need, want, or desire, it will being to manifest in your behaviour. Part of keeping your soul well is giving God the parts that aren’t.  

The second part of this is what happens after the storm, once you’ve decided to ask God for the things He wants to give you and you get them. For most people, our prayer life is never better than when we are in need or when things are cray-cray. We’re like, “God, I need a new, higher paying job, a car, and a few husband prospects STAT!” or, “God, I need you to speak to all 67 of my unsaved family members in a way they understand so that they will be saved by the end of the year. M’kay? Thanks! Love Ya ;)”  God, being the loving Father He is, gives us the desires of our heart all in the proper timing, but more often than not, as soon as we get those things, we revert back to maybe praying at church and, if we’re feeling super holy, over our meals, and that’s about it until the next storm. Now, there’s a few problems with operating this way, but a big one is, you get all of these things, and now you have new relationships to build, a new occupation to learn, a car that needs gas and maintenance, a romantic relationship to nurture and a decision to make on whether or not this is the right person for you, and a family of baby Christians to help teach and lead, and you decide to play God and leave Him out of the equation. Cuz you got this, right!? Wrong. Because, then we get mad when we become burnt out, bitter, and back at square one! We are a funny people, aren’t we. The Bible is very clear on how to find rest and sustain it. Matthew 11:28-30 tells us, “28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” It also says in Psalms 55:22, “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you;” As it turns out, the secret to keeping your soul well is not so secret after all. You have to give it to God! And, in order for you to give it to God and for God to sustain you, you have to be in communication with Him! When you have an open line of communication with the Father, He is able to dispatch His Holy Spirit to help you and His angels to protect you. This doesn’t just mean praying here and there once or twice a week- it means being in your Word. If you want to hear what God has to say to you, you’re in luck- there’s a 66 chapter book chock full of His logos words for your life! It means going to church, building relationship with your fellow sheep, and being an active participant in corporate worship, even when you don’t feel like it! Some of the greatest breakthrough comes from pushing through your emotional and physical comfort to connect with the supernatural. Do not disconnect from the source of divine rest for your weary soul (another nugget from Mr. Lentz).

It is possible for it to be well with your soul, even when it is not well with your world. You cannot allow yourself to become a victim of your circumstances. Trust me, I know just how crazy life can be. The enemy is no respecter of persons- his mission is to steal, kill, and destroy anything our God gives us. That includes our peace. But, our Jesus didn’t give His life freely for you to go and live in a constant cycle with the same outcome of a tired and worn out mind, body, and soul. He did it  for you to be more than a conqueror, to have the best life possible here on earth because of the beautiful bridge between heaven and earth He created. There comes a point in life where you have to make the conscious effort to say “It IS well!”, even if it’s not. This world is in a very negative state, and if you do not know the worth of your soul, the world will be the first to place a false, cheapened value on it. When your soul is well, nothing negative can stick. Remember that saying “I am rubber you are glue, whatever bounces off of me, sticks to you”? Imagine your healthy soul as rubber and the enemy as glue. When your soul is well, whatever the enemy throws at you bounces off of you and sticks right back onto him. When was the last time you checked up on your soul? Maybe it’s time to start working your way to a healthy soul. That may look different for each of you, but I encourage you- never be ashamed to reach out for help. Sometimes it just takes talking to someone. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in the right direction. If you feel led to go to counseling, do it! It doesn’t mean you’re crazy- it means you’re human. Make sure THE counselor is in on it too. God is the ultimate counselor, and He wants to listen because He loves you more than you will ever know. I definitely do not have it all figured out, but I am here for you, as well. Day or night, call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me! My prayer for you today is that the peace of God- the peace that passes all understanding; the peace that allows parents who have lost everything to rejoice- would flood your heart, mind and soul. I pray it is well with your soul.