I love to know and learn things. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always loved being “in the know”. I used to love being one of the first to know things so that I could be the first to tell things. In fact, my nickname growing up was “the informer”. I’m still that way in many ways. I would pick a documentary or docuseries over just about any other genre any day- anything from BBC Planet Earth to a dark true crime series. I literally love watching the morning news, reading my daily Wikipedia article, getting my dictionary word of the day, and even my daily Bible verse. I listen to educational podcasts for fun, and I’m in a million and one Facebook groups to discuss various topics. I love it all because I love learning and knowing. I guess that makes me a bit of a know at all lol.
The issue I have is that this crosses over into every area of my life, including my faith. I’ve recently been struggling in this area because there are so many things that I don’t understand when it comes to how God operates. In the last few months, I’ve found myself questioning God a lot. Not His existence or his sovereignty, but his reasoning. Becoming a mom has softened my heart to so many issues in this world that I then take to God and ask why they are happening. It’s left me with many sleepless nights and rant sessions with God. And if I’m being quite honest, there have been a few times I’ve been downright angry with Him. Why do some prayers get answered and some don’t. Why do some people seem to ALWAYS get blessed while others are left in what seems to be a perpetual struggle. Why do some people receive their healing here on earth, while others receive it in heaven, leaving their family, friends, and community devastated? I could go on and on with questions. I was to the point that the generic “we live in a fallen world that’s imperfect” answer wasn’t cutting it. That seemed like a cop-out that people used because they didn’t have the answers either.
It was so dang frustrating because I know the goodness of God. I’ve seen it in my life time and time again, but nevertheless, I was left extremely frustrated, having gone through some really tough things too, as well as having seen my loved ones and even those I’ve never met go through so much pain and struggle.
Then, then other day I saw a post that humbled me pretty quickly. It was a post that Brian Johnson shares of a quote from his dad, Bill Johnson. It was so simple, yet so profound. “We need mystery as much as we need revelation.” At first I read it and scrolled right on by, but something told me to go back and read it again. After reading it a few more times, I was so wrecked, so humbled, and so convicted all at the same time. I’ve spent the better part of the last year genuinely angry with God because I didn’t understand a lot of what was happening around me, but in that moment I knew that I was never meant to understand most of it. That was a hard pill for me to swallow given my personality, but as I’ve mulled over it the last few days, the more I’ve begun to understand that I don’t need to know everything.
If we as humans knew all of Gods reasoning and all of his plans, there would be no need for a God at all. And how very self righteous of me to assume that I should know everything he does?! See, while we should strive to gain revelation and understanding of who God is and what His heart is towards us, we also need to acknowledge his sovereignty and majesty, which is far beyond our understanding. Ultimately, we need to be more concerned with acquainting ourselves with Gods character rather than His reasoning, because when we know who He is and understand His heart, we understand that no matter the circumstances, he is always working things for our good!
Obviously, this wasn’t a fix-all. My questions didn’t just magically melt away because of this post/revelation, but it gave me a new way to combat my emotional responses towards God. I know my curiosity isn’t a bad thing- it’s how God created me to to be! And through my curiosity, I’m able to gain so much fresh revelation about Him, but I have to also be conscious of my mind and not allow it to wander. The Bible tells us in Romans 12:2 “Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.” This is in the Passion Translation, and I absolutely love the way it reads. We have control over where we allow our minds to go! And when we partner with the Holy Spirit, it results in a total reformation of how we think. Not only will it result in a reformation of how we think, but it will allow us to discern and understand God’s will for our lives. Wow- that’s so dang powerful!
It’s amazing how much one little quote can change the way you approach so much. It was so timely and so needed. And it served as a reminder that I truly need God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit- everyday, in everything I do, think, and say. We all do! We all go through some really tough stuff throughout the course of our lives, and i think because of that, we can all be left questioning or doubting the goodness of God. I personally believe that, if we allow them to, these are often times the moments that result in us growing closer to God than ever before. The key is to press in, be curious, and learn more about God, who he is, and what his promises are for our lives! That being said, I want to leave you with some scriptures to help guide you through those tough times.
Psalm 23 (TPT)
“So why would I fear the future? For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life…”
1 John 1:5 (TPT)
“This is the life-giving message we heard him share and it’s still ringing in our ears. We now repeat his words to you: God is pure light. You will never find even a trace of darkness in him.”
James 1:17 (TPT)
“Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect, streaming down from the Father of lights, who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow or darkness and is never subject to change.”
Matthew 6:25-34 (TPT)
“… Look at all the birds—do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they?”
“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. For he knew all about us before we were born and he destined us from the beginning to share the likeness of his Son. This means the Son is the oldest among a vast family of brothers and sisters who will become just like him. Having determined our destiny ahead of time, he called us to himself and transferred his perfect righteousness to everyone he called. And those who possess his perfect righteousness he co-glorified with his Son! So, what does all this mean? If God has determined to stand with us, tell me, who then could ever stand against us? For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his Son. And since God freely offered him up as the sacrifice for us all, he certainly won’t withhold from us anything else he has to give. Who then would dare to accuse those whom God has chosen in love to be his? God himself is the judge who has issued his final verdict over them—“Not guilty!” Who then is left to condemn us? Certainly not Jesus, the Anointed One! For he gave his life for us, and even more than that, he has conquered death and is now risen, exalted, and enthroned by God at his right hand. So how could he possibly condemn us since he is continually praying for our triumph? Who could ever separate us from the endless love of God’s Anointed One? Absolutely no one! For nothing in the universe has the power to diminish his love toward us. Troubles, pressures, and problems are unable to come between us and heaven’s love. What about persecutions, deprivations, dangers, and death threats? No, for they are all impotent to hinder omnipotent love, even though it is written: All day long we face death threats for your sake, God. We are considered to be nothing more than sheep to be slaughtered! Yet even in the midst of all these things, we triumph over them all, for God has made us to be more than conquerors, and his demonstrated love is our glorious victory over everything! So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!”
Why are some of your favorite scriptures of God’s goodness? I’d love to hear from you! Drop them in the comments below. Thanks so much for reading- I hope to see you next week